Birthdays and the Best Part- Presents!!!!

I remember when I was a kid; I would have a birthday party each year. In fact to me, that was the only good thing about growing a year older- a party which meant I was likely to get many good presents. The present a friend got me was enough to make or break a friendship! I remember telling one of my class-mates who got me a set of 6 cocktail glasses ( hardly a gift that a 10 year old can play with) on my birthday that we weren't friends anymore because of the sort of gift she gave me. Then there was this other classmate who I didn't like but who scored huge brownie points in my book because she got me not one but TWO presents neatly wrapped together. A person who gives such nice gifts must be a very good friend to have, so the classmate who I rarely spoke to got upgraded to a new 'friend' status. Very mature I know.

Anyways, as luck would have it; by the time we came back to India my parents decided that I was all grown up now and there was no need for parties. Of course, I tried to argue with them saying that nobody is ever too old for a party, but I think they had mentally given up on planning such a stressful event. My sister seems to have done a lot better in that department. Skillful mediator and planner that she is, she still manages to get not just one but two presents from each parent every year. Sometimes I think she teaches better lessons in negotiation and self-marketing than 2 years of MBA did!!

So, this year as I was fiddling around with my list and wondering what to get myself; I decided that I would be my own fairy and make a childhood wish come true. Instead of having to choose one gift like an adult, why not gift myself a few things I love a lot? So, I gifted myself 3 bags, 10 books which were a mix of fiction and non-fiction as well as a whole goodie bag of beauty products from Body Shop.  So, birthday treat to self is a huge success and birthday girl is thrilled!!

Every year, there's one other person who dreads my birthday specifically for selfish reasons of accelerated ageing, just like me. That's my mom. Before she can wish me on my birthday; my mom will crib about how ME growing a year older means that SHE is getting older and ME getting closer to 30 means that SHE is getting closer to now owning a head full of white hair! This year however, I reminded her that she was now a grand mother and that meant she was already old. I know; very pathetic of me but then again I'm battling my own hallucinations about turning 30, all by myself. I mean I have a number of hasn'ts, doesn'ts and did-nots in my list such as ' still doesn't have Julia Robert's figure' or ' hasn't travelled the world yet' or even ' Did not get back to working at a day job'. So, I think it's wiser that mom faces up to the fact that a head full of white hair is just around the corner, while I try cajoling my mind into believing that 30 a'int all that bad. I mean, after that, 40, 50, 60 and maybe 70 await????

On Getting Inked

What a relief to be back in a familiar place that I know and love. If you must know, it’s only 4:30 am on a Saturday morning and I have broken my own rule of not getting up till its 9:00 am. The very thought of putting ideas and meanderings to words made my muse very excited. And, so I thought to myself, ‘What the heck’ll? If you are itching to write, then it’s time to wake up sleepy Dell too.’ [In case you’re wondering what the word ‘ Heck’ll’ means and you are very keen on looking it up in the dictionary, seriously don’t bother because this word is nothing more than a mere production of my ever hyper imagination. J And my sister made a teeny weeny contribution too. We couldn’t decide if we liked the phrase What the hell or What the heck, better. Spoilt brats that we are, we then decided to get the best of both worlds by simply combining both!]

Anyways..Where was I? Right- about to begin on the subject of tattoos. So, recently two pals of mine got individual tattoos done on their arms- one got the king of hearts and the other got a very serene outline of the Buddha; which led to another event-

No 1- That set me thinking on what I would like my tattoo to look like. And yes, although, the mere sight of the tattoo instruments are enough to make me want to cry; if I could survive a caesarean operation (although I must be fair to my doc and truthfully say that I was given anaesthesia. Point to note here is that, once you give birth; any other episode involving pain mostly always fades away in comparison.) So, the only other option is to do what a certain Angelina Jolie did. She merely walked into a tattoo parlour blissfully sloshed, dropped her pants and woke up the next day with a tattoo of a funny dragon on her hip. ‘Funny’ she calls her dragon in her own words because apparently it has a blue tongue. Fear not, we can always ask Brad to confirm.

So when I read about that incident; I mentally switched places with Ms Jolie and wondered what would happen if I had done the same. Imagine me walking into a tattoo parlour completely drunk, dropping my pants and then telling a biceped tattoo artist- ‘Eye vud laik eeyu tu lhet eyourr emaijeenashun go viiiiild (I would like you to let your imagination go wild).’ Dear readers, since I’m not Ms Jolie and I have anything but a wild reputation preceding me; I can imagine waking up next day having spent the night on the pavement outside and most likely finding the words- ‘ Don’t come back again’ or ‘ Warning- can cause blindness’ tattooed on my hip instead!!

But seriously! When I was in college, I actually used to talk about getting a full length dragon tattooed on my leg. Thank goodness, I was too chicken to actually go ahead with it. A few caesarean stitches are painful enough, do I really want to wake up to a dragon breathing fire, every single day? A tattoo is something that ought to be personal and attractive at the same time. Why does Ms Jolie have mantras tattooed on her skin? I have always wondered if she reads aloud from them during meditation, perhaps? (writer scratches head)

I would love to get a tattoo of my muse. Only problem being that I still haven’t figured what she looks like. I mean, I know she is a figment of my imagination and all, but I am still in the editing mode with regard to her final features. I definitely want her to be a fairy, with nice big wings, maybe holding a long feather in her hand and writing in a book? Should she be sitting, kneeling or sitting on a crescent the way the Dreamworks Animation kid does? Then again, maybe I better make her a half-angel. BUT, I would really like another tattoo of a little cherub, a pierced heart and maybe even a small orangutan. See, that’s just the problem. I like so many images and if tattooing wasn’t such a painful procedure, I might have even gotten small tattoos done of my contact lenses and my darling Dell laptop, too!! After all, I can’t get through a day without them.. So many things that are dear to me.

I have actually stopped being judgemental about people who walk around with tattoo covered bodies. Seriously, how do you decide what you like best and settle on just one tattoo to live with for life? It’s like somebody said- ‘My body is a temple of art.’  Sure, WHATEVER. So, who knows, someday I may actually show some guts and stubbornness and actually get a tattoo done (probably after driving the artist insane with my inability to decide what I want) . But then what if the tattoo actually makes my body a ruin of art??