Love Happens. And is rightfully blind.

' The Green Room' is a book that will arrive at your favourite book-store soon. I have a feeling that the people who do end up spending money to buy the book will either be wannabe fashionistas, those who are keen to learn more about the fashion industry or those who are a fan of the author himself- Wendell Rodricks.

What if I told you that this book is probably one of the best love stories of our times, would you grab it then? Probably. What if I told you that the love story in question was that of Wendell Rodricks and Jerome Marrell, his partner of 30 years? Did I just hear you say you're not interested in love stories about gay people? Well, you're not alone.

The first time I heard the word 'gay' must have been when I was in school. But even back then, some adult warning prevented me from freely using this adjective  in school essays and in general conversation as well. I would never tell people I was gay, instead I would tell them that I was 'happy'. It's amazing how even as a child, you can form a prejudice about something, a word or about someone without fully understanding why. Years later, when I became a teenager, of course the very thought of being around gay or even slightly effeminate people was torture. 'I just don't like gay people' I would announce like as if anybody cared. But why was it that I did not like them was something I never bothered to reflect upon.

Till I realised with a pang that Elton John, one of my favourite musicians was gay. So was Ellen Degeneres, who I think has such an infectious smile and just sprays warmth and laughter wherever she goes. So was Neil Patrick Harris who plays the ever righteous Barney Stilson. Jodie Foster. Alan Cumming. Darren Hayes who gave the group Savage Garden some beautiful numbers. Ian McKellen, Adam Lambert (yes I was hoping he would win American Idol) and even Ricky Martin. Dare I forget George Michael, whose songs I grew up listening to. And the list goes on.

Yes, quite a few writers have made it to the list as well. Personalities like Oscar Wilde, E.M Forster and Samuel Butler are all rumoured to have been gay. But unless a person is strong enough to stand up in front of society and admit he or she is gay, we will never know for sure. These days, of course, admitting one's sexual preferences earns the admiration of a small number of people besides simultaneously earning the rejection of others too.

And then I sat down to understand why such a prejudice had stuck in my head for so long, without any reason at all. It had, of course, much to do with the general attitude towards gays within my family and friends circle, as well as a generous helping of brainwashing from general society itself. It's taken me years honestly to get over a fear that wasn't justified in the first place and a prejudice which should never have been born at all.

I've always wondered why society doesn't open its eyes a little more and let people who don't have the society approved sexual preference, in peace. I mean, we all admire so many gay people for their work but mention the word 'gay' and eyebrows are lifted within seconds. On the other hand, thanks to the inability of so many families to accept that their children are 'gay' and aren't faking it, many of these people get married to members of the opposite sex and have a marriage that is oh-so convenient from a society point of view, but disastrous for the two people involved. I remember reading books on AIDS, gay people, books that attempted to understand why some people are gay and some aren't, when I was in college. One of the best books that I came across was by Dr Verghese ' My Own Country' where readers get a first-hand experience of what it feels like to have a loved one die of AIDS. I remember reading that kids as young as 5 knew that something wasn't right with them, because they always felt an attraction towards older boys and not to other girls the same age. Society may say that whether you are gay, hetero or bisexual is a conscious choice that you make. But I think otherwise. Some may say I'm right and most will say I'm wrong.

I think that in a world where true love is getting rarer by the day, that Wendell and his partner have a beautiful relationship that should ideally be an example to people everywhere. Besides two men living and loving each other, theirs is a partnership which proves that love need not be confined to one's skin colour or even origin. For Wendell is Indian and Jerome is French. And I hope that for the sake of a new generation which I believe will grow to be more tolerant and respectful to people irrespective of who they are and where they are from, that 'The Green Room' becomes a classic love story on par with Romeo & Juliet. Because very few people are blessed to be touched by true love herself.

Mary Kom Packs a Punch!

So, the Facebook Detox Diet was going on in full swing till today. I cheated and allowed myself to log in just to check if there were any new mails or friend requests. And I was right! 2 new mails and a request from an old college pal awaited me, besides birthday reminders of 2 dear friends. But I didn't wait to wish anybody ( I know very mean of me) and all I did was to glance over 4 posts to see if I had missed anything. And it's the same old news- more wedding pics, more celebration pics, more I -dont-know-these-are-up-here-for-the-world-to-see pics and useless updates. For instance, one of the people on my list mentions a single word as his status update- YESS. Now what am I supposed to make of that?

So, I was grinning. Doesn't look like anybody missed my not being there on FB and I realised with a pang of shame that I now suddenly have so much more time on my hands for other things. Like writing this blog post for instance. So, I'm back on the diet and really happy that I don't have any other parameters to compare anything about or in my life to. And going by the sweet encouraging feedback on that one blog post, I was so happy to find that I wasn't the only one who felt this way. I used to think my mom preferred to remain outdated in all things techno, but I think she had a wise point which I completely missed 2 years back!

Anyways. So this blog post title is about Mary Kom and so I'm going to swing back to the current hot flavour of India. I've never been one for cricket ( yes I dared to say that!) and I've always wondered about what it must feel like to be an athlete competing in one of the many other sports that most of us don't care about. There's always been a problem of getting funds, sponsors and yes, even big-time cash. How happy I was to know that the Olympics placed people I had never even heard of before(my ignorance, nothing else!) directly in the spotlight, and about high- time too. For a change, the drums beating at the airports and the crowds were thronging not to see one of their dear cricket gods, but the newly crowned Olympic winners. How encouraging to see article after article being written on them in newspapers and the general love of the public which was showered on them.

Mary Kom. She's my new heroine in so many ways. But besides proving that married women with kids don't need to be written off as being useless and ' in their prime', I admire the way she has handled everything with so much of grace. This new found adulation, all the publicity, yes even the hoards of sponsors who are now willing to shell out lakhs for her! What strikes me as unusual and also marks a change in the way at least a part of society thinks is that it is her husband who has backed her up every step of the way, irrespective of the hardships. I've heard that ' Behind every successful man is a woman' but Mary and her husband, Onler have re-written that age old adage. He married her when she was a celeb in her own right and encouraged her to push the boundaries a little bit more each time. To me, he is a man and a rare diamond at that. The kind that every woman should pray her daughter gets for a husband. For I truly don't know, how many men out there in our patriarchal society are willing to play a comparatively smaller role when placed next to their wives and can still hold their own with so much of confidence. It may seem insignificant, but there's a lot to be said about that.

Because every-time the camera bulbs flash, Onler smiles and lets his wife take the lead. Because whenever she has to practice for a match, he is there to take care of the kids. And when she needs that little bit of love and encouragement, he is there right by her side again. What a man! And I've had the good fortune of knowing a few good men who know the difference between being subservient and letting their woman shine. So, if you're married to one such gem, go to him, give him a tight hug and whisper a secret ' I love you'. It always wonders between my parents even now ;-)

Oh, and one more thing to add about North Eastern society. They seem to have a much broader viewpoint about what a woman can and can't achieve on her own. Girls are brought up in such a way so that they believe that they are on par with men in the society. What a man can do, a woman can too. Now, if only that modern and society changing thought could trickle downwards to the south and spread to other parts of India. I can only imagine the number of women whose lives would be all the more enriched by that one change in thinking. And that's why, I've decided that as I bring up my son, I want him to understand that a woman is a powerhouse on her own who deserves all the respect and love in the world. I may not be able to change the way a nation thinks, but surely I can impact the way he treats my daughter-in-law someday.