The mayhem at a 4 year old's birthday party!

I dread birthday parties to be honest. No, I love attending them but I just hate organizing one. No matter how many lists I draw up, websites I visit for ' Don't forget' tips or sleepless nights I spend, there will always be that one important thing I forget. Every SINGLE time.

Every year, after I host one, I secretly swear that it's the last birthday party. But when you have a kid who knows what he wants and has understood that birthday parties= presents which will keep him occupied for a month, it's only natural that he gets his way everytime. I've begin to note how my kid ( although I guess it happens with every kid), is getting extremely choosy about the kind of cake he wants and who he wants to call to his party.

Not that I have anything against this new hero who my kid simply idolizes, but Ben 10 is a mother's worst nightmare. Or maybe it's just me. Ever since my kid discovered this superhero kid with green eyes and a watch ( yes Ben 10 has a bloody expensive watch), he has been plaguing me with questions like:-

' Mama, I want green eyes also. Like Ben 10.'
' Mama, I want to fight aliens. Like Ben 10'.
' Mama, Ben 10's brother is called Sen 10'.
' Mama, I want to grow up and become like Ben 10'.

So, as you can imagine, I've begin to dread taking my kid to toy shops. Because, somewhere, hidden from my view, will be Ben 10 in full glory. And even if my myopic eyes take 2 hours to scent out Ben 10, you can bet that my kid does it in under 5 minutes. And so, my kid is now the proud owner of 3 Ben 10 t-shirts, a Ben 10 watch, a Ben 10 phone, a Ben 10 ball and possibly in the near future- a Ben 10 hairdo!!

Now as if my life wasn't already complicated enough, my kid gave me the additional challenge of- yes, a Ben 10 cake for his party. If this was Mumbai, Delhi or any other metro, I wouldn't have thought twice. This being Cochin, where everybody orders their birthday cakes from either Hit Breads( by the way, they haven't added anything new to their catalogue. They still have the same cakes my kid sister used to order when she was a kid) and of course, Cocoa Tree. Now both of them don't do Ben 10 cakes. Hmmmm, possibly because they like seeing mums like me beg and beg just so that they get to say a ' No, madam, we sorry.' Me too. So, since I had embarked on a Ben 10 cake hunt, I had to also report dutifully to my son. ' Darling, mama not getting Ben 10 anywhere, can we have a Spider man cake?'. To which he says' But I want Ben 10 cake no? You said Ben 10 no?' and he gives me that puppy dog look which I can never say no to. And so, the hunt for Ben 10's cake ( no wonder I hate that guy so much now) would begin all over again!

Finally, finally I spotted one lady who apparently has introduced the idea of photo cakes in Cochin. And what a heart attack I had when even 2 days prior to the party, I was unable to get through to her to order my cake. And when I finally did, it was with a sigh of relief that in spite of the high price, I could walk away with the reassurance that the cake would taste good but more importantly, feature Ben 10 doing what other normal kids never get to do- shoot aliens!!

I can't tell you how many nights I sat up trying to figure out the right games to have for the party. When I googled ' party games for pre-schoolers', almost all the sites advised having active games as opposed to saner games which require the kids to sit down and play. Probably not much fun for the little ones, but it's probably the only time when the mums get to hear each other talk as well. Anyways, I had finally narrowed it down to musical chairs, pinning the nose on Mickey and a spot of bowling. However, when D-Day did come, I realised that all the kids needed was a play area with a swing, a slide and a few cars and they were good to go. There wasn't any need to have the games at all!! Although I did feel like a fool for having planned so much and too much, it felt good to hear the kids screaming, running, popping balloons and giving other customers a scare now and then.

After the few hours that seem to last a lifetime are done, I turn to my kid and ask- 'Did you have a good time?' And it's when he says 'Yes, mama' and hugs me that it makes all that planning so worth it. But like I said, I swore to myself- ' Never again'. I know my kid better. Next year, he will have a longer list of must-have's for his party and by then am guessing and hoping that Ben 10 will be replaced by another hunkier and chunkier superhero who's somewhat my age!!

@ Raji( I hope you read this because I thought and thought about a good description for you. To me, you're like a shooting star in a navy blue sky. Dont ask me why, it's just the first thing that popped in my head :-))

A little bit of this and that!

( Ta da DAAAAA.... Am back!!!)


Ok, so as promised, this is the first blog post since I made my last promise to write atleast 3 new posts every month. I've realised that once I get started on a new blog post, it's hard to get me off my laptop, but GETTING to it is the hard part. Alright, so let's roll:


1) If I could freeze time forever, I want my kid to stay a 4 year old always. He's at that age that's a sigh of relief for mums- not too dependent yet not all that independent either! So although he insists on doing so many things by himself, he does need you around for a few important things. Plus, I love the way he pronounces such words: Amboloons (ambulance), ravanda(verandah), olso(also), horribil(horrible), showel(shower). I know I should be correcting him but his kiddy pronounciation won't last forever either. And I'd like this cute phase of his to continue for some more time.:-)


2) Right now, my little boy is out of the Barney and Thomas train (was he gay??) phase and is now in the super hero phase! So, I have to now deal with characters like Ben 10, spiderman, batman and what not. Add to that, he has also started to jump from the bed and after he lands proudly claims that he is batman! The last time he told me he had wings, only that I couldnt see them .. :-)


3) I find it so hard to remember the names of all the books I want to read or purchase at some point so what a blessing to find a good Android application that does all the remembering for you! Book catalogue is simply great.


4) I've got quite a few new books all neatly tucked away in my cupboard, but for some reason I feel like re-reading all my old books; a few which have turned a pale yellow as well!! So right now it's Shantaram and The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh for me.


5) I'm back to baking once more. Something so divine about butter being whisked and a light yet rich cake mixture that always tastes better than the end product. Makes me smile all the time. And since I'm extra proud of my cake mix beater, I cant resist whisking an extra 3 minutes everytime. Now that I made a dates and nuts cake, next on the list is a marble cake. and I will list out all the details here I promise!


Ok, bye for now from me... and I'll see you soon. By the way, I've been thinking. What phrase describes you best? For my sister its ' angelic imp' and another dear relative claims that he is 'like the wind'. I thought long and hard about what would describe me. I thought of ' a naughty ray of sunshine'. But I'd love to hear what you my dear readers would use to describe me. Maybe I'll change the earlier phrase about myself too!! Do drop a line and tell me what you think :-)) what phrase would describe you??

So, hello once again dear readers and my sincere apologies for not having posted anything since I turned 29 last September. All I can say is that, I of all people never expected that wonderful day to be the beginning of so many changes in my son's life and mine. I've gotten busier with more writing projects, had a few conversations that hurt, thoughts that became life-changing decisions, lost myself, found fragments of the person I once used to be, felt that same warmth from my best friends and am back with the three people I call my family.  Sometimes I float, sometimes I walk, sometimes I run but I'm getting there. :-)

This blog was meant to be a small gift from me to my son as he grows older. I would love for him to click on each blog post and read about his childhood as seen through my eyes, my thoughts, why I said some things and the many others I never did. Someday when I'm gone, I hope he'll find me in every post. In case, he doesn't understand my blog posts, I've even left him poems and diaries written faithfully about him, but either way he doesn't have much choice. To me as a writer, my purpose of starting a blog was just to unleash a little bit of that creativity and craziness kept all bottled up inside. There were many memories I didn't want to forget, certain why's I was sure I would want an answer to later and some sweet people who I wanted to pay a tribute to in my own way. 

And so, it's with a solemn promise that Sanjana swears she will write atleast 3 blog posts every month for her darling friends and the other anonymous readers who for some reason prefer to remain that way. Writing to an audience you can't see is therapeutic for some but for me, it's a big reason as to why I'm still a writer. Besides, as every day becomes just another page in the history of my life, there are always those few moments that deserve to be better explained, better captured and better remembered. So, cheers to a second innings! (this is where our champagne glasses clink!)

(p.s- Nandita and Raji- your mails made me smile. Words cant express that wonderful feeling when you know there are friends who do want to know your opinion even though there's a good chance you won't stop once you get started :-)) )

Celebrating 29!

Turning 29 is a serious eye- opener. I'm just one year away from turning 30 and I realise with a heavy heart that my efforts at weight loss seem to be proving seriously futile! So, this year I decided not to celebrate my birthday, even though I was in Cochin with my family. But my dear little boy had other plans on his mind:-

- He sang Happy Birthday for me and then gave me a small green box ( which he had flicked from his grandmother) and asked me to open it. Of course there was nothing inside. But my kid who has a roving imagination refused to be put off. ' Do you like the black angry bird mama?? It's for you ok?' First, I hate the angry birds game and secondly the box was empty. But when you become a parent, you learn to play these little games just because you don't want to see your kid looking sad. So, I replied ' Oh I LOVVE angry birds. Thankyou SOO much, kuttu!' And the little smarty pants was smiling away to glory.

- Not that I don't love cake ( I mean seriously, who doesn't) but thanks to my great pains at watching what I eat and watching other people eat what I can't, I decided no birthday cake this year. My mom and dad both have diabetes, so they weren't complaining but kuttu was sorely disappointed. At our local supermarket, he discovered a pack of candles and ran off to the cashier to explain that it was my birthday and to give it to us for free. 'It's my mama's birthday today no? We need to blow candles on cake no? We have to buy candles no?' Needless to say, the cashier was confused, but I was so touched seeing the way kuttu was so excited. Celebrating a birthday, means so much to him. Thankfully, I managed to convince him that we had candles at home and didn't need more! But of course, we did end up buying pastries from Cocoa Tree which has now opened another branch near my house.

- Trust dad to have a surprise up his sleeve and take us all for a movie at Oberon mall. Not only did we enjoy the movie, but we got to enjoy the big huge seats right at the back of the theatre. Plus, a treat from KFC and another small surprise from my parents were the icing on my cake! (literally!)

And as it was time to tuck in my little boy, tickle him for 5 minutes and sing songs to him, I realised with a deep sense of satisfaction that as far as your parents and children are concerned, you're never too old to celebrate a birthday.

All that jazz in 2 months!

Has it really been almost 2 months since my last blog post? Am tempted to say that time really flies (nothing new) and in these two months, so many things happened:-


1) My baby sister isn't really a baby anymore because she just turned 14 in June (sob sob). I can't even lecture her about the big bad world because she's way matured than I was at her age!
2) I began to sprout a wisdom tooth which needless to say, made my head ache like mad. Why didn't anybody warn me that wisdom hurts??
3) I came down with the worst food poisoning episode in 28 years in July. Just my tummy taking revenge for years of processing junk food. After one week of moaning like a banshee in pain and endless trips to the loo, I can confidently say 'Lesson learnt!'.
4) I discovered that Penguin Literature classics (and you thought the literature genes died after college!) retail for just 4 SGD each. C'mon, I pay 5 SGD for 2 litres of milk!!

I also figured that my little boy is becoming taller, that I can't carry him as easily as I could last year and that he is getting more independent by the day. This little brat of mine doesnt even let me give him a kiss. Instead he lectures ' No kissing on the lips ok? That's chee chee. Only kiss on the forehead or on the cheek!'. Am thinking I should have kissed him heaps more when he was a baby and wasn't strong enough to fight his mother off. These days, my little one has discovered the power of running. And running fast..

After 3 years of parenting, I can tell you that being a mother is so much tougher and fun than it appears. I wish my mother had handed me a few books on how to be a great mother instead of an worn out copy of ' What to expect when you're expecting'. But then again, why should words of wisdom from an expert apply to children all over the planet? After all, isn't each child different in his or her own way? So, it's with plenty of confidence that I can tell you:

- Kids imitate you all the time. My son has imaginary conversations with my sister on his cell phone (yes he has a cell-phone with no battery or sim card, a Nokia which I was only too happy to get rid of!) and when I ask him who he's talking to, tells me ' I'm talking to Nikki chech. Can you please go out of the room?' Someday when he discovers the magic of a real sim card, I can imagine what his conversations will be like and having a heart attack every month when I pay the bill.

- Just when you're in the middle of a nice nap, your kid has to go to the loo. And he will pester you till he gets his way. On second thoughts, it's better to get up and do the needful because who likes cleaning a mess?

- You reluctantly agree to watch spongebob squarepants although you're dying to know what's cooking up on Wisteria Lane in your favourite show. What's better? Hearing spongebob yap or a non-stop tantrum for 5 minutes? No wonder, am becoming a desperate housewife myself!

- Forget about watching a movie non-stop for 2 hours. Because that's the time your kid will most likely want to watch You Tube videos, play football, or of late, play angry birds!

- They are the little masters of manipulation. Real life example: My kid was running a high fever one day and of course I said no to giving him ice-cream. The next day he comes to the kitchen, gives out a fake cough and says ' Mummy, I need cough medicine. I have cough'. And I spent the next 5 minutes reassuring him he did not need medicine because he did NOT have a cough. To which, the little brat asked' Ok, then can I have some ice-cream please?' He's already learnt the art of beating round the bush and confusing his mother!

It's no wonder then that so many moms I have spoken to actually feel like they come from the dinosaur age. I completely echo that sentiment. I've learnt the hard way that if I have to discipline my child, I not only need to prove who the boss is but I also have to think 20 steps ahead of him!! Just like my parents did, am blinking when I hear my 3 year old say a witty liner and am wondering how much wider the generation gap is going to get. Through all the confusion and fun moments, am glad to say that I'm learning to be a mom the other way round- one day at a time. :-))