Friday, July 30, 2010

Numbers and Convenient Amnesia

I've had a phobia of numbers for as long as I can remember. When my mom would give me sums to do at home,  I would literally go into a trance when I saw the figures on a white page. While I may have looked like some lost fool, what you didn't know was that the numbers were royally messing around with my eensy weensy brain! So, unlike other brave people who realise they have a phobia and do something about it; I recognized the overpowering effect of numbers and chose to leave it at that. And of course I kept getting disgraceful marks in all my maths exams too.

The only year that I managed to get over my mental fear of maths was when my favorite school teacher Arundhati De, taught us Maths. The way she approached the subject, I realized that I could beat the stupid numbers at their own game. And of course I loved the smiley faces she drew on my book every time I scored 9 on 10 for a test. But even though I had won the battle, eventually numbers won the war!

These days, my phobia of numbers has crept into everyday life as well. Just last night I realized that I'm turning 28 in September, and I'm just two years away from a dreaded 30!!!!! I don't know why I feel that natural dislike at the thought of turning 30- its almost as if I can hear a million clocks ticking and an expiration sticker being printed for me somewhere. My wonderfully sensitive hubby assured me that turning 30 was nothing- ages 40, 50, 60 and 70 are all waiting in line to get me....

To cap it all, I regret to say that I also forget all the important dates that I ought to remember. In fact I have proudly stated that my kid was born on May 25, when actually he was born on May 23( I have even been corrected by a nurse in the hospital once and yes that makes me a lousy mother). I royally forgot my dad's birthday last year( so did he for that matter!) , and got a earful from my sister for remembering her birthday at 11pm in the night. Getting blasted by a 12 year old on an international call and having nothing to say, is not a memory I want to hang on to.  The only three dates I'm proud to say I never forget are Aug 15 ( Independence Day and my parent's anniversary),  Sep 12 ( my birthday) and Dec 25( Xmas).

This year I decided to make use of technology so that I would not embarrass myself again. I kept reminders in my phone and even reminders in my mail. But old habits die hard. However, I pat myself on the back for sending my sister a teddy bear and pink roses for her 13th birthday, more as a make up gesture for my blooper last year.

While I know I have my bearings with most other things, its awful that numbers and I haven't become friends as yet. Who knows, life is full of surprises and someday I may be able to calculate 5 digit sums in my head or work on maths to pass the time. For now anyways, its numbers that wear the horns!