With my thinking cap on.

I turned 30 on September 12. And, unlike all other birthdays where I have this genetic habit of announcing my D-day to the world, this time all I wanted to do was pull the blanket over my head and lie still with my eyes shut.

Why? Age is just a number and 30 is but just another year. There will be a 31, a 32, a 40, a 50, and who knows how many more. It's just that I feel overwhelmed by those two digits '3' and '0' that I can't help feeling that half my life is over and I really don't have anything much to show for it.

On one hand, I can now strike ' Being a mother by 30' off my list. But, ' Having my own place' hasn't happened as yet, considering I'm still living with my parents and sister. Neither has ' Have a dog by 30' although I do have two Fisher birds who are forever thinking of ways to escape from their cage. Little 007's that these two are. I also have not managed to do anything much career wise, but I can also strike ' Impress the world with my writing by 30' off my list [ side-note: if not the world per-se, atleast a few clients sitting in America;-)]. And I've also done ' Get atleast one poetry book printed by 30.' Plus, ' Have a decent library by 30' because I must admit that my library is very very decent and does justice to my love for literature and books that the world usually does not read !

What else? ' Successfully lose more weight by 30' is still a project that will probably reach its successful conclusion by the time I'm 6 feet under. And so what if I dont shed kilos by then, according to science I will lose 24 grams anyways, even if I'm lying absolutely still. [ In your face, all you sweaty stinky gym addicts]. mmmmmmm, what else?? ' Travel the world with a back-pack' by 30' is yet to happen, although I can honestly say that I have traveled to quite a few cities with a diaper-bag.

I need something; a list to give me some more perspective on life for the next 10 years and I hereby resolve that I will by age 40:

- Learn Spanish and Italian. And impress both sets of natives with my outstanding pronunciation and other articulate gestures! Viva La Espagnol and L'Italie!!

- Go through my French books periodically. Because after all I was the 1999-2002 University topper in the language with a wonderful score of 98%.

- Travel. With or without my backpack. But definitely with my kids who I hope will inherit their mother's sense of adventure.

-  Become an eco-warrior and make efforts to save water. Planet more trees and pick up garbage.

- To write more poetry. Because it was through the poetic word that I took my baby steps in the world of writing itself. And one should never forget where one came from.

- By 40, I hope that I would have learnt the art of mastering my emotions in a much more dignified manner.

- Learn. Learn more. Learn some more. Because knowledge is always waiting for someone to pick her up.


I think it's a fair list and hopefully I will be back in another 10 years' time to tick off all these off my list and to make a new one. As for my birthday, my 4 year old who is just learning to write, wrote the letters H and P on a white paper and said ' Happy Birthday mama' and kissed me tightly on my cheek. Now when you wake up to an angel's kiss in the morning, can it really it a bad day?