On December 31, 09 I decided to give myself a wonderful treat. Just a nice way of patting myself on the back in encouragement for all the good work done this year. I should have taken the opportunity to walk inside one of the city's hotspots and enjoy a drink that's really easy peesy to make but goes by a long seductive name such as ' Long walk on the beach', or ' Triple Strawberry licks' or something else like that.Motherhood has seriously buried that side of me which wouldnt have thought twice about a pub drink a few years back. Today, fun means going out of the house by myself and getting back before kiddo gets up. Yes, my little brat even determines how much fun I should have these days. No wonder then that the fun o meter is always steady at zero!
Anyways. I went for a book sale!!! If am not writing books, I am buying or reading them. I picked up so many books for kiddo and then picked up some good titles for myself. Lets see- I picked up Jhumpa's Unaccustomed Earth, Revolutionary Road, a book on philosophers, another on Geisha, a non fiction and then Amitav Ghosh's Glass Palace which I adored. It was absolute mayhem there, and I really wished I had four hands instead of two. Clumsy me, I dropped two books twice, stamped an old gentleman's foot and accidentally knocked down two books from a stand. So yes, I got noticed and also plenty of smirks. Don't blame me. Something happens to me whenever I see tempting signs like' Buy 2 get 2' or up to 70% off. It just triggers something off. Now I have a few books to last me the next few months till my next India trip, whenever it is.
This year, we decided to stay put at home and avoid being part of any celebrations. For some reason, I felt really sober on the last day of what's been a highly eventful year, and not exactly in the right way. Just when I thought I could use the last few moments of 1009 to reflect and think and pray, I ended up doing nothing of that sort. Our neighbours were having a garden party and there were such loud sounds of drunken singing, laughter and what not. Then they all began the New Year countdown. That set me thinking- Do they think that we are boring people? That maybe we werent invited to any party? That maybe we dont have anything to do? So psycho that I am , I began to shout and scream Happee New YEARRR , wooo hooo in my sitting room, hoping they would hear and think we were having our own fun at home. Did they care? I think not. And what was the great programme we were watching on tv? A stupid awards show called Sabsey Favourite Kaun, where an award was even given for the fittest celebrity. But watching my kid dance to the music added the much needed New Year spark.
Its almost a year and I miss my grandfather very much. I didn't realise I loved him so much till he left us in Jan this year. I wonder if I told him I loved him enough or if he knew. Personally, I find that good people are so few in this world. And my grandpa was undoubtedly one of them. When I think of him, I have tears of pride every time, because its so wonderful to me that I knew a good man so closely and that I have the fortune of calling him my grandfather. If I can be even 10% of the person that he was, that would be fitting justice to his goodness. I like to think that up there in heaven, he is happy, has plenty of friends around him and even gets to fix a car or two. He loved cars, and how ironic that he was such a fab driver and I am such a lousy one. I just wish my kid could have known him. For now, I will just keep my grandfather safe in my memories and heart.
So am hoping that this year has pleasant surprises in store. That I am finally able to kick out my post pregnancy weight gain. That I get to write more books and many more writing projects. That I grow as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. That I am able to make a few more dreams come true. That the ones who matter most are happy and healthy! Have a great New Year...love and hugs
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