The Facebook Detox Diet

Is there such a thing as the Facebook detox diet? No, there isn't and the term is merely a figment of my imagination. Although, everything about the diet is probably more realistic than fictional. Let me explain.

I can still remember the day I created an account on Facebook. No, I dont recall the exact day, date or time but I do remember my thoughts when filling in the usual standard questions. At that time I was a big Orkut fan and although everybody began to shift their loyalties to FB, I was still a stickler for the original social networking site. I also had a hi 5 account which I deleted because I honestly forgot to use it as well as a MySpace account, which again I used to forget to even check. However, I signed up for FB 'just in case'. I could never have predicted at that time just how big a control FB would have on my life later. And maybe for plenty of wrong reasons.

As you can imagine, I ended up deleting my Orkut account too because eventually like most things in life, Orkut gave in to the competition and tried too hard to become 'something else'. Gone was the clean interface and easy to read font which were now replaced with a number of customization features. FB with its boring, trademark white and blue screen seemed to have a much bigger magnetic appeal. And what a coincidence in a way, because the same faces that smiled at me from my Orkut friends list were the ones which added to my friends list on Facebook as well.

The good thing about Facebook is that you get to stay aware of what's happening in everybody's life without actually having been there in the first place. I've attended I dont know how many baptisms of new borns, shed a tear or two at weddings I never physically attended, said a prayer for those who had lost loved ones and can even claim to have visited a few foreign lands because of the pictures that were diligently posted online. What began as a celebration of the little events that make up life, according to me soon became a way to prove to others that their life was so very happy. Every little sneeze, every little booze party, every small makeover was being put up for the whole world to see. Although there have been times when I was glad that I was being allowed to celebrate with the person concerned, there were plenty of other times when I wished I had told the person upfront that too much info isn't any good anywhere.

And then came the disastrous 'like' option. To add to everybody's misery, now people could also like other people's opinions and even comment on them. The other day, somebody's dog died and there were actually 4 people who 'liked' the comment. Really? Another day a mum put up an update about her kid who was down with flu. And what have you? Another 5 people 'liked' that update too. I can now believe incidents of people suffering from FB mania or of checking their account some two hundred times a day.

For me, personally I realised that Facebook had begin to affect me in a few other ways that I never thought was harmful at first. Seeing pretty couples pose, beautiful babies being born, happy families on their nth vacation gave me the feeling that my life just wasn't Facebook worthy or even 'me' worthy. I began to compare myself in many ways to over a dozen friends who I felt had 'everything'. And it left me feeling irritated. Miserable. Angry and most importantly, ungrateful for all the blessings I never asked for but received anyway.

Like all problems, getting down to the root cause was the prime challenge. I had become so addicted to knowing what was happening in everybody else's life that I had stopped paying attention to what was happening in mine. And I just had to comment or 'like' something, no matter how silly it actually was. This may not be your story and hopefully you will never be affected the way I was, but I know that years of FB finally began rubbing me the wrong way. And hence the Facebook Detox Diet.

I decided that it was high time I got up and started appreciating what I already had and was in severe danger of losing. I may not have the picture perfect family. The shiny new car with pumped up speakers. Or amazing pics near the Tower of Pisa to show off. But as of now, it's still good to be in my shoes. And I'd like to feel that bit of reality a bit more closer before one of life's surprises knocks me in the face again.

I know that many of my friends love to hear about some funny incident which I have recounted here or some other humourous narrative that has them in splits. The humour hasn't died. But if this was truly to be Sanjana's blog, then I felt that it was also important to jot down my chain of thoughts and whatever started the fire in the first place. And yes, this is one diet that I wholly approve of!

The Green Tea diet failure

So now that the fetish for mangoes which was driving everyone in the house mad is over, I've now shifted my loyalties to the humble payasam or kheer or vermicelli pudding as it is called. With our beloved harvest festival of Onam in the air, it's that time of the year for our paddy fields to don their greenest cloaks, for us to celebrate the best of Kerala vegetarian cuisine and of course, it's also that time when you're allowed to gulp down endless cups of payasam without any mention whatsoever of weight gain!

Which brings me to another much debated and worn out topic of discussion- weight gain. How I wish for the umpteenth time that I was one of those people who could hog like the world was about to experience a famine of the worst kind from the next day and still sashay around in figure hugging dresses and heels. But, sadly that was never meant to be for me, and although I have gotten around to the idea that even the mighty Creator needs a few laughs now and then, it hasn't stopped me from thinking of a quick-fix solution. So, I gave in to the 'green tea' mania which was guaranteed to work and burn off fat and all that. In Singapore, in fact, I even stopped drinking water and used to sip that yucky bitter brew straight from a jar because I thought losing a few fat cells here and there was something my body could give up easily. And since this is MY body we're talking about, I also figured that a measly 4 cups of green tea everyday would simply not work for me (Try convincing your mind to drink something when you actually want to puke so bad). After one week of torturing my taste-buds and putting my already fragile mental strength through such barbaric treatment, I gave up and promptly dunked all the remaining green tea sachets, where they belong in my world that is- in the dustbin :-)

 BUT reading about how effective green tea has been for so many other mums who were slogging to lose all that post pregnancy weight, of course the little devil who resides in half my brain had to make me feel guilty about it as well. ' How come others are able to do it, whereas you aren't? was the one question on my mind. I needn't have gone through so much of self-questioning anyways, because a certain smartypants working in Parry's came up with a fantastic idea- What if you could get all the benefits of green tea in a capsule and save yourself and other unfortunate family members from the possible side-effects (read complaints and non stop grumbles) of consuming the actual drink?? So, yes, I confess, I am now getting my green tea kicks from the humble capsule and although I have been on it for a week, I am yet to see any visible signs of anything whatsoever melting. Although, I have been feeling much more hungrier of late and royally giving into it as well, which again contradicts the prime reason for taking green tea capsules at all :-(

On a happier note, it's been raining kittens and puppies here and the weather is simply gorgeous. It's really grand to snuggle under the blanket for an extra 5 minutes or to hold a steaming mug of coffee between my palms and watch the raindrops fall so close to me. My little boy and I walk to the bus-stop everyday and I realised that he enjoys jumping in every puddle he sees. So although he has the wickedest smile on his face and giggles to himself, I being the strict parent obviously tell him not to do that, but inside I'm secretly enjoying the way he is acting his age. There's a certain freedom and joy and discovery all at once. Please note that he is also the reason why my otherwise white as snow pyjamas have also turned brown in colour. But pyjamas be damned. Childhood comes just once in a lifetime. ;-)