Some people are born to be passengers- Like Me!!

So alright. Here's a terrible truth. One that I always try my best to run away from. I cant drive. There. No I mean it, I really cannot drive for my life. If ever I am faced with a situation where I have a car and a set of keys, either the car wont move at all or the mortality rate in my lane will be huge. Being in Singapore, these guys mean business. For the smallest of crimes, you are looking at a few dozen lashes of the cane and a few years in jail. That strategy works I tell you. The crime rate is quite low in the city and a plan to build a new jail was canceled. Why? Simply because the present jail isn't quite filled up at all. :-O


Back to my story. Dont even think of suggesting that I take up driving classes because I have already put my terrible skills to the road in two separate cities already!! I thought as a student in Hyderabad that going for driving classes would be great. Well now when I look back I realize how funny they were actually. Since students all over the world are broke, and I am no exception, I joined a crash course in driving classes. What a mistake!! Not only was my knowledge half- baked by the end of it, but it didn't quite give me the confidence I was looking for. Even more funnier was my poor instructor who was really a sweet guy. He didnt know English or Hindi and I for one didn't know Telugu. Here's how our conversation usually went


( Imagine am driving the already battered up car, which has barely any space for big sized me)


Me- 'I really must go faster on this. Why are we going so slow?'

( Thats when I almost bang an old man with a bullock cart)


Instructor- ' Hulloooo. HULLOOO'.


( Now, I'm a very social person. Only thing is I couldn't figure out why my sir wanted me to say hello  just when I almost hit somebody!)


Me- ' Hello? Sir why are we saying hello now?'


Instructor- ' Hullooo, HULLOO'.


Me- ' Helloo HELLOO' ( in a loud voice just in case sir thinks am not social)


Instructor- ' Shloww Shloowww. Hulloooo '. 


( Thats' when it hit me. The Telugu word for slow is Hullo. Can you imagine how much it made me laugh? My poor sir was staring at me and then back at his reflection, probably wondering what sins he committed in this birth to get a crack student like me!)


Me laughing for a full 5 minutes gave way to another conversation that followed. Just when I was about to take a sharp turn my instructor said-


Instructor- ' Nakku'. 


( If you know Malayalam, you'd realise that in my language, the word Nakku simply means to lick. Now can you blame me for getting all confused??'


Me- ' Nakku? Whaa? Whats that supposed to mean?'


Instructor- ' No. No...'


Me- ' Ok dont tell me now, but atleast tell me tomorrow.'


Instructor- ' No..No...  no drive fast, drive hullo.'


I finally had it figured that Nukku simply means no. Can I be blamed for my lack of driving skills but definite presence of being able to see the funny side of most things in life?


You're probably wondering what happened at the second driving course I attended. Now that's a story for another blog entry. Keep reading...